Friday, November 5, 2010

Who knew?

Surprise, surprise! I'm back in Cali. I had no idea I would be back so soon or that some of the stuff I had been having problems with would continue ( I should have known better....*LOL*)
I never knew how much I depended on the little things to get me through each day. A phone call from someone who loves me, a hug or a smile to let me know I'm understood, being able to wake up without being exhausted or being in pain. Each day I'm alive, I begin to understand more and more that this life has very little to do with everything going well.
My life has never been what most people would consider easy, but it has been my life & there is very little I would change. I wasn't raised in a well-to-do family but I always knew I was loved & I had the things I needed and many of the things I wanted. Yes, I've been sick but I've learned that no matter what I need to keep going. It's not always easy but completely worth it. I have loved someone with all my heart and soul. This may not have worked out but I know how to love & what it feels like to be loved in return. I have been hated for what I believe & who I am. But I've learned that hating in return did no good. I am regularly judged for being the way I am & shunned for being a certain way.
I am intense, stubborn and I can be bossy. I am also very caring & would do anything I can for people I love. Life is about change & I change regularly. I will not change my personality unless it will do me some good. In that way I may be selfish but I like the way I am. It has helped me get through things I never thought I could.
Who knew that moving away & coming back would make me realize how much I need to change & what I truly want in this life.

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